Tag: CPTSD recovery
-
At the ACON Foundation, we believe that understanding your human needs is the key to healing from narcissistic abuse. Every action we take — healthy or unhealthy — is an attempt to meet one of six universal needs, according to Anthony Robbins. These “6 human needs” are: Certainty, Uncertainty/Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth, Contribution. For Adult…
-
Growth is a universal need — but narcissistic families punished it. Many ACONs were shamed for independence or self-discovery. Healing means reclaiming growth as a safe, joyful process of becoming who you really are — not who your family demanded you to be. The fifth human need is growth — the desire to expand, learn,…
-
Love is a core human need — but narcissistic families replaced it with control. ACONs often grew up mistaking conditional love, manipulation, or trauma bonds for real connection. Healing means relearning what safe love feels like, and slowly building circles of belonging that honor who you are. The fourth human need is love and connection…
-
We all need variety — but ACONs often mistake chaos for excitement. In narcissistic families, “variety” came through drama, crisis, and unpredictability. As adults, many survivors unconsciously seek chaos because it feels familiar. Healing means learning to welcome change in healthy, safe, and creative ways. Variety is the spice of life. All humans crave change,…
-
Certainty is the need to feel safe, secure, and stable — but ACONs were taught the opposite. Growing up in narcissistic families means living in unpredictability: moods shifting without warning, rules changing daily, safety always uncertain. Healing requires learning how to build healthy certainty — not through control or fear, but through steady routines, safe…
-
All human behavior is driven by six needs — but in narcissistic families, they’re twisted. Certainty, variety, significance, love/connection, growth, and contribution: these are universal. In healthy families, they’re met safely. In narcissistic families, ACONs are forced to meet them through survival roles — leading to shame, anxiety, and trauma bonds. Healing means reclaiming these…
-
Reparenting means giving yourself the care your parents couldn’t provide. It’s about learning to meet your own needs with compassion and consistency. For Adult Children of Narcissists (ACONs), reparenting is a powerful way to break cycles of neglect and abuse. Many survivors of narcissistic families reach adulthood carrying unmet needs from childhood. Instead of love,…
-
TL;DR Narcissistic families assign roles to keep control: one child idealized, the other blamed. The Golden Child is praised to uphold the parent’s image. The Scapegoat is blamed to carry the family’s problems. Both roles are harmful—and both children deserve healing, truth, and freedom from the script. In many narcissistic family systems, children are not…
-
TL;DR Parentification forces children to grow up too fast. In narcissistic families, children are often made responsible for meeting the parent’s needs — emotional, practical, or both. This role reversal is called parentification, and it leaves deep scars of guilt, anxiety, and lost childhood. Childhood is meant to be a time of growth, play, and…